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What is the juiciest secret you know?


The juiciest secret of my neighbour

My neighbour’s wife has the tendency to nag. Especially with her husband. They’ve been married for many years. They’re happy together, in a distant way.

These are typical conversations

  • Honey, my key got stuck again today. Can you have a look?
  • I dunno, not a locksmith you know…
  • Honey, the light in the garage flickers again. Can you fix it?
  • I dunno, I’m not an electrician you know
  • Honey, may car makes that weird noise again. Can you have a look?
  • I dunno, I’m not a mechanic you know

My neighbour’s wife doesn’t mind all that much. Her husband’s a good man after all.

I had just moved and wanted to make acquaintance with my new neighbours. But only the wife was home. She was nice, let me in and offered tea. I saw she had the greatest problem turning the key to let me out. So I fetched some oil. It worked perfectly. Did I know anything about electricity? Not really, why? Oh, I screwed the bulb tight and the garage was nicely lit. I hate to bother you she said and pointed to the city car parked on the drive. It makes that awful noise…I walked around the car and noticed one of the tyres was almost flat. I changed it with the spare tyre.

How on earth can I thank you. I told her it was ok. But she insisted. What do you like?

At the dinner table she told her husband about the new neighbour. He had fixed the door, the light, the car. Simply marvellous. Did you give him money? Of course not! But I did ask what he liked. So? Well, he loves chocolate cake….and anal sex.

Oh Lord! Did you bake him a cake then?

Honey, I’m not a baker you know…

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